One Last Time
by arisusa06
Summary: When the finale of S6 was through, I think we all felt a bit hollow and cheated out of one final love scene for Jax and Tara. This is my take on what might have happened as the camera panned away... As always, the characters belong to Kurt Sutter, the story is my own. Enjoy.


The cheap motel bed creaked under the weight as Jax and Tara fell onto the mattress. Their mouths attacked each other in fervor. There was so much had gone wrong in the last few weeks, so many lies, so many betrayals, so much to make up for and no time left. No time but the few hours between now and when Jax was to turn himself in to the D.A. and neither of them we're going to waste it…too much time had been wasted already.

Tara shoved Jax's kutte off of his shoulders, fighting against the fabric of his jacket. He responded by pulling away and quickly unzipping it and shook them off while Tara pushed. No sooner had he pulled his arms from the sleeves than he fell back onto Tara, his hands quickly finding her face and locking his mouth onto hers. Their tongues pushed and pulled, left and right, performing this dance they had done a thousand times before, although perhaps never with so much urgency. Then again, that was hard to say…there were so many times in their relationship that they had almost lost each other…life, kidnappers, jail, Kohn, an exploding clubhouse. Tara had tried warning Jax over and over but he'd never listened and now this was the culmination of his ignorance. He was going away for years. Years he would spend away from her, away from their boys, away from everything. He always said they would figure things out later, they would do things later but now later was a very long ways away. Now there was only now.

His hands wound knots in the short hair they'd never gotten enough time to get used to and down her neck, her arms, her sides; so familiar and yet so new. He felt her hands on his back, pulling herself to him and it drove him mad with desire. His guilt, her betrayal, their love, the years of lies and honesty and broken promises all weighed on him and he felt their release in her touch, in her mouth, in her legs bent up around his waist. He needed her. He needed her with every ounce of his being. He was a good father but he'd been a terrible husband. She had always been there. She was the one that had sat on the sidelines, believing all his promises and shouldering them in silence every time they were broken. He was going to make it up to her….he was going to go away and pay for their mistakes...and right now he was going to do it in the only other way he knew how.

Jax pulled himself up from the bed. He grabbed Tara's left leg and pulled her boot off and dropped it on the floor and then her sock. Then he moved to her right and did the same. She lay on the bed, her chest rising and falling heavily. Her blood was racing just as quickly as his own. He grabbed the hem of his t shirt and pulled it over his head before crawling back onto the bed, between Tara's legs, and back to her face, her mouth….his hands went to the buttons of her blouse and sliding them deftly through their eyelets. He didn't want to wait to have her anymore. Tara eased herself to a sitting position, sensing his intent and Jax peeled the tight shirt down her arms and tossed it off the side of the bed. Meanwhile, she pulled her black tank top over her head and discarded it. She was so beautiful. He leaned into her and they both fell back against the pillows. Their mouths hungrily churned around each other feeding them that which they both so desperately needed.

Jax had treated her so unfairly, done so much wrong, not fulfilled all the duties that he as a husband and her lover should have been doing…he wanted her to know how much he loved her, how sorry he was, how she was the only one….how she had always been the _only_ one he had wanted. His mouth wandered away from her mouth, kissing her cheeks and her neck, gently biting and sucking on the lobe of her ear like he knew she always loved. He was rewarded by the sounds of a low moan escaping from her throat, her body shifting underneath him. It wasn't enough; he wanted to give her more. He slowly made his way down her throat, letting his facial hair brush against her skin. His kisses trailed down the front of her collar bone, her sternum; he felt her body respond to every delicate touch. He ran his hand across her shoulder line, brushing her bra strap down her arm; first on the left side, then shifting his weight, and doing it to the right. Jax nuzzled his face between her breasts and inhaled the scent of her: the perfume she always wore yet he never took the time to learn and the scent that was entirely her own. It was invigorating and calming. It was like coming home.

He rested his face there a moment more before running his hands around to her back and fumbling with the hooks of her bra. When the tension suddenly slacked, he pulled it away, freeing her breasts from their confines. Tara arched her back against his face, his scruff scratching against the soft skin of her chest, and he knew what she wanted. His left hand came back around, cupping her right breast, massaging it, pushing it up and around before taking her nipple in his mouth. Tara gasped and he felt her hand suddenly in his hair. It pulled at his scalp from all the gel he'd put in it that morning, but the pain only served to heighten his desire. He swirled his tongue around it, pulling with his lips and nipping at it with his teeth. His right hand shooting up to her left breast and Tara's body instinctively pushed into it. He could feel every goosebump on her skin as her nipple grew hard beneath his touch. He wanted her...all of her. His mouth traveled from her breast, to her sternum, and slowly..._ever so slowly_...he trailed kisses down her soft ivory stomach. When his lips felt the glossy scars of the stretch marks, he pressed his forehead against her and had to take a breath. She had given him so much over the years, not the least of which was their son Thomas that she'd carried inside of her. A son he'd never seen enter the world because he was sitting in a jail cell. His hands unfastened the button of her jeans and slid them down, planting kisses farther and farther down her abdomen, channeling his remorse into pleading silent apologies.

XXXXX

The farther he went, the farther Tara pulled her stomach toward her spine. She didn't know if it was possible for her to suck it in any more. No matter how many times he'd done it, her reaction was always the same... The anticipation of knowing what was coming left her both anxious and excited. Farther and farther he went...she pressed her head into the pillow and arched her back. When his kisses finally traveled to the southernmost part of her abdomen, the apex between her thighs, her eyes rolled back into her head and she felt her face go flush. A rush of tingling raced through her body with every movement he made. Eager but diligent, Jax never failed to make her feel his love, his passion, his regret in moments like these. His emotions always came out when they were together, but he spoke them without words and with all of the pain and betrayal she had put him through in the last few weeks, this was the last thing she deserved, for him to love her this way. But here he was, throwing all of his love and angst into her. She could feel the pressure build within her quickly, begging for a release every time his head bobbed and nodded between her thighs...over and over again...She wanted it...her eyes squeezed shut..._oh, how she wanted it_..._but, no! No_! This was the last time she was going to see him as a free man in almost a decade. She needed more...she needed to give him more...

Tara reached down to run her fingers into his stiff hair and grasp his head. She pulled up on him firmly as a little voice in her head screamed at her to let him finish. But she had to...she had to show him how sorry she was, that she never wanted to do any of this...it was just for their boys...all of it was to keep their boys safe. That she had _always_ loved him and had hated every moment of everything she had done. She needed him to know how sorry she was. That she was so _SO_ sorry...

Jax didn't even get a chance to wipe his face before Tara pulled his mouth to hers. She could taste herself on his tongue but it was no matter...she needed him. There was no time for niceties...there wasn't time for anything. There was only right now. She knew he could sense her urgency because he stopped being so cautious and kissed her just as hard and aggressive as she was to him. She dragged her nails across his back...against that massive tattoo that represented the thing that had tried so vehemently to take him away from her. But he _HAD_ chosen her...he'd chosen their family and although he might have to go away for a long time, one day they would be together and everything would be as it should have been all along. She loved him...she loved him with every ounce of her being and she was foolish to think that she ever could have survived without him. Her hands slid down his sides to work at the front of his jeans, unfastening the massive belt buckle he always wore and slide down the zipper. Jax needed no further urging and lifted himself off of her enough for her to push his jeans and boxers down over his narrow hips. Tara heard his shoes hit the floor as he shifted his weight around. She pushed the hotel comforter and sheets down beneath her and they both quickly scrambled to get beneath them.

Jax braced himself between her legs once more and for the first time since they'd fallen to the bed, they stopped and stared at one another. The last time they'd been in this situation it had been a much different experience. But here they were...with all of the love they'd always had, augmented by the fact that now she truly knew where his heart was.

"I love you, Tara," his deep raspy voice broke the silence.

"I love you too, Jax. I always have..."

His endless blue eyes looked deep into hers and she knew he could see her truth. And in turn, she could see the weight of a very heavy burden slide away from his. She saw a small twinkle come back to them that she hadn't seen for quite some time. She leaned up to kiss him and all of the frustration and confusion he'd pent up, poured out of him and into that kiss. She felt his manhood press up against her and the little voice that had screamed at her before, now cried for her to let him finish now and Tara was more than happy to give in this time. She arched her hips in such a way that the tip of him was right at the entrance of her. He pressed his forehead gently against hers and she heard him take in a deep breath before slowly pushing into her. She felt her body resist at first and then slowly give way to wrap around him. _So tight_...her body wasn't used to taking him in since she'd forced herself to be so distant but she welcomed it...knowing that he was inside of her...that once again they were one person. Her body slowly adjusted to the length of him and now it was her turn to take a deep breath. When he'd pressed himself all the way to the hilt, he stopped again and they looked into each others eyes once more. There was so much there in his amazing blue eyes...the hurt, the pain, the love, the forgiveness...she saw everything...the husband, the outlaw, the father, and the teenage boy she'd fallen in love with so long ago...she saw Jax.

XXXXX

Tara wrapped her arms around his back and continued looking in his eyes. Jax could feel every ribbed muscle inside of her as he slid out and then back in again. He never took his eyes off of her and it only made his heart race even more to see the small contortions of her face, the love in her eyes. He continued to slide in and out... _in and out...in and out..._ steadily going faster and faster. Her breaths grew ragged and quick and he could feel his whole body growing tense. He knew that neither one of them was going to make it very long. Despite wanting to make it last, he knew that it had been too long... too long since they'd felt this connection...He needed her too much. He pumped into her..._ harder...faster_... chasing the sensation that was building inside of him...he'd had thousands of orgasms in his lifetime but none of them ever matched the intensity of when he made love to her. He watched her beneath him as she opened her brilliant hazel eyes wide to look up into his. Her hands tightened on his biceps and her legs clenched impossibly hard around his waist. The way her eyebrows scrunched and mouth started to twist up, he knew that she was close and he felt his muscles twitch in response. The tingling numbing sensation that started in his groin had grown stronger and was branching out to his arms, his legs...He felt his throat tighten, his face contort... It was _everywhere_ and Tara was all he could see. Suddenly, he saw she could take it no more and heard her cry out...

"JAX!"

...and not an instant later he reached his...

"Tara!"

Her whole body arched against him and his body froze in place as he spent himself inside of her, over and over again, in strong, mind numbing waves. Tara's short gasps only served to speed the process and only a moment later his body was so exhausted that he collapsed on top of her. Their chests heaved into each other and breaths mingled in the air between them. Jax buried his face into her hair and deeply inhaled the smell of sex and sweat and the sweet smell of her perfume...

"Tara, I love you _so_ much...I'm so sorry I didn't see what I was turning into...how I hurt you..."

"Jax," she cut him off, "I'm sorry too... I shouldn't have shut you out. I should have turned to you instead of turning away. I love you and I promise I'll _never_ leave you again."

He pulled himself up just enough to see her face. He looked deep into her eyes, pleadingly, _needing_ to know that she meant it...because even when she had done everything to force him away...lied to him, manipulated him, betrayed him, taking their children...even then, he'd found he didn't have it in him to hate her and it became painfully aware that if he lost her, he would lose himself too. He'd barely survived the last time she left and he knew, deep in his heart, that he wouldn't be able to do it again...

When he looked in her eyes though, he saw only confidence. That strong, unwavering reassurance that she always had when he doubted himself.

"I promise you, Jax. No matter how long it takes, when you get out, your boys and I will be waiting."

She gave him a small smile and Jax nodded silently, knowing that she meant it. A broad grin broke out across his face and then hers did as well. It stretched ear to ear and made her eyes sparkle. His heart swelled so much that he didn't know if it was capable of holding all the love he felt for her in that moment. He leaned forward and kissed her again. He didn't know what the next few years would have in store for him in Stockton but he knew that with his family on the outside waiting for him, his beautiful, strong wife, and two amazing boys, there wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Tara ran her fingers up into his hair and their kiss deepened. He loved her...through the best and the worst, the good times and the bad, he loved her with everything he had and everything he never knew he had. As their tongues danced around each other, he felt the passion returning, and although he knew they only had a limited amount of time left together, he gave himself over to his emotions and collapsed into her once more...


End file.
